Ballad of the Coffee Bandits

There was a shop on the old town road
which sold nothing but coffee,
and many came to stop and behold
the wonders of cups of caffeine.

All that is except two cleaners,
tea drinkers through and through.
They both loathed all things coffee
and what its drinkers aspired to.

That coffee could eliminate falsehoods,
cure poverty and war,
that it held the font of all things good,
was what coffee stood for.

And so the tea maestros simmered,
their anger just about restrained
until some friends invited them to coffee
and they laughed through their pain.

So they went down to the coffee shop,
and raised it to the ground.
They fled with every bean in the place,
gone, never to be found.